Inez’s Guide to Storm Lake


Storm Lake, Iowa, 50588 sits on the northern edge of a small body of water also called Storm Lake, which might seem obvious until you contemplate the icy isle that is Greenland.

According to various online sources (and they couldn’t print it if it wasn’t true, could they?*), Storm Lake occupies 3200 acres, is a natural, glacial lake, and is the fourth-largest lake in Iowa. The folks here certainly seem to enjoy it — I see sail boats, other types of boats,** jetskis, and swimmers. I see lots of people fishing, too.

The city maintains very nice parks and docks along about 1/2 of the lake’s shoreline.

If I sit sideways to my living room window and scrunch down a bit, I can see the lake — I’m living about 1 block north of it. I have yet to actually do anything lake-related, other than walk or bike along the shore paths. My brother-in-law Leroy offered me a plan*** to meet a boater/fisherman, but I don’t think I’m quite that desperate for companionship or fish at this point.

And so, some pics of Storm Lake:

Boatpierpark Parklake1

Lakepier Lakeshore

*A common tenet of university freshman writers — trust me.

**Like I can identify basic boat types. Sail boats have sails, all other boats don’t.  Give me a break, I’m from Nevada.

***He said I should put on some make-up, or even just do my hair up nicely,**** and ask a fisherman to teach me how to fish.***** The request and the hair will evidently place the man completely in my power.******

****I can’t decide if Leroy is attributing low expectation for female beauty to the average fisherman or if Linda has trained him to appreciate the least of her efforts — in which case I say "You go, girl!" I too like my men to be absolutely bowled over if I wear a clean shirt and apply some Chapstick.

*****Thus feeding me for life, or at least making me stinky for life.

******Were I Linda, I’d be asking Leroy some pointed questions about his own solo fishing trips…


2 responses »

  1. Gee–I never really thought about Leroy’s “solo” fishing trips in just this way before. He usually leaves here with at least a day’s growth of beard and is wearing his grodiest old clothes, which he has been known to fish back out of the dirty clothes hamper–I know he stops and purchases little minnows and earthworms to keep him company on these expeditions, because he comes home smelling of minnow/earthworm essence, and brings the remainders home with the idea of “going out again tomorrow,” however they usually die and begin to put forth an odor that is stink to the tenth power. In addition, he(usually) has transmuted some of the worms and minnows into real, occasionaly impressive fish. In the time he is gone, if some clean-shirted and hair-fixed-up hussy does try to cozy up to him, I just hope the poor girl stays upwind, and I hope whe starts working on her low self esteem issues really soon, poor thing. P.S. Mike says to let you know he added a belated comment to your entry about his stay in Iowa.

  2. Still funny as hell. On a side note, since your site is so amusing and must be getting a plethora of visitors, you should check out Google’s adsense. Putting a little advertising up top can pay your gas and beer every month. I put it up, but I’m not nearly as funny, so I’m only getting a free stick of gum each month.

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