Today in the mail I received a ball winder from JoAnn Fabrics.com. It’s a nifty little mechanism that winds yarn from the skein into a center-pull ball and, like a cherry pitter or apple corer, has no other use whatsoever. When I die* and my nephews Mosquito Mike and his brother Dave and their cousin Gabe are winnowing through my stuff, hoping to find something of value amid the stacks of yellowing knitting patterns and cracked leather jackets and outdated 10 cent off coupons and 37 parrots, they’ll happen across the ball-winder and wonder what the hell Inez was getting up to in her latter years, and wasn’t she getting frighteningly loopy near the end and really, it’s a blessing, isn’t it, and that bitch left how much money to her parrots?
So now whenever I get bored or have more important stuff to do,** I can sit on the living room floor and happily wind yarn into center-pull balls. And I won’t just wind yarn that comes in skeins, I’ll wind the yarn I already have that is presently in outer-pull balls, because I’m obsessive-compulsive that way.***
*don’t cry, it’ll be years and years from now (it had better)
**like starting to acquire the extra 36 parrots
***You know, the good way****
****The good way being the way I am