So, the other day I was shopping online for new stick-on address labels, having used the last of my beloved green-big-headed alien diecut ones, which I bought 2 years ago on sale and can’t find more of — I was evidently one of a select few who thought they were funny.
Unless you decide to go completely plain, buying address labels is a chore. I wanted something cute for my $8.99 — cute being relative and in my case including aliens, some mammals, birds, and selected landscapes and not including baby animals, shopping, flags, crosses, Disney princesses, fighter jets, or kissing children. The fact that I spent well over an hour selecting these labels, which will mostly seen by the mailroom staffs of my creditors, probably says something about me that I don’t want to analyze too closely.
But this post isn’t about address labels in their many variations.
This post is about bracelets that the label site was also selling.* One side of the bracelet reads “A blood donor saved my life” and the other side is stamped “Matthew 26:28,” which is a verse about Jesus pouring out the blood of the covenant to erase the world’s sins. Now, it’s not because I’m anti-religious jewelry that this riles,** it’s that the bracelets, called “Faith Alert,” are styled to look like medical alert bracelets. Yeah, that’s what a paramedic wants to do in an emergency, waste precious time checking out a fake medical bracelet. And while I hope that each and every paramedic in the world reaches spiritual fulfillment, when I’m having a heart attack, I want my EMT focused on my body rather than the state of his or her soul.
I’m just saying.
*Actually, the site was selling an astonishing amount of crap
**I’m heavily pro-jewelry, especially jewelry that is silver, turquoise, and mine.